Input Please

I had training today, this place is a huge fan of 'training'.  I guess my problem is that there is nothing new under the sun,and the woman did not present one single thing that I have not read, heard or studied before.  Not that I'm all that great, I'm not.  It's just that I've been doing this for about a 1000 years.Thank God, I took my latest Quilters' Magazine.

  One thing she did mention that I knew, but hadn't thought about in a while, was that we all make decisions in different ways (This was in the context of a discussion on learning styles, you know, auditory, visual or kinesthetic learners).  After a survey, I was reminded that I make decisions by gathering the consensus of friends, relatives and colleagues, and then after due consideration, make a decision.  Those who thought I did not listen when they advised me to retire were quite wrong.  I listened and considered and then decided that if G-d blessed me with a job offer when others in their sixties were being passed over due to their age, I should take the job.  Besides, I have saved less than no money for retirement, and while I do not aspire to taking it with me, I do want enough to get there.

After the training,  my bra had started to cut into that spot right under my boobs, and in the heat,  I was beginning to think I was going to bleed,  It hurt like hell.  So,  once I got into the truck, I  reached under my blouse and pulled the bra up and off , thus stopping the pain.  Just at that moment, the sliding door to the van next to my truck started to slide open.  Oh my gosh, one of the teachers' kids is  in the that car, and I have just warped  the child for life!  But, no.  The guy had a remote control and was heading out of the building.  No one had seen anything. Not on the subject, just a little aside.  At any rate,   that's when I decided to take a short drive, and no, I didn't put 'the girls' back in their house.  I just drove .  Didn't see anyone but horses, anyway, if you don't count the young woman at the drive up window of the Burger King who handed me my large unsweetened iced tea.  I hunkered down, though. She was saved from being struck blind.  While driving,  I got to thinking. 

I have signed up for a certificate course in Behavior Management at Northern Arizona.  It's a year long course.   And, while it's popular to make fun of education courses, (and in truth, quite a lot of it is absolute bullshit), the truth is, this is going to be tough.  I'll have to do case studies up the ying yang, gathering of data, getting into some kid's head to find out why he/she is doing self-destructive nonsense, and finally, trying to convince the little toot to stop it.  That's not easy, and I know a little about that.  I worked for seventeen years in a prison and have lost count of how many times I would say to a guy, ' When your cell door clangs shut every night, do you get a clue that you are making bad decisions?  Why is that?'  At that point, they would spill forth with the most heartwrenching crap you ever , ever heard.  Enough  of that, and it takes it out of a person.  Do I really want to go back to that?

The job I have now, I am qualified for.  I do not need a new skill set. I figured that out this morning, before my boobs started to hurt.  I'm good at what I do, and I can get it done within a normal work day.  That frees me to either take this course or ....or what?  As I was driving, I was thinking about that.  I have re-discovered photography. I'm beginning to enjoy some travelling, and  I used to love to quilt.  I have had no time for any of those activities for the past thirty years.  The few things I wrote or quilted or photographed when the kids were babies have long since been lost.

If I don't take this course, I can do the job I have now and have time to take pictures, finish the stupid book I've been working on for years and maybe take up quilting again.  Can't I just continue to do what I do and reach a kid or two?  Is this course going to teach me that much?  And am I gonna make enough more money to make it worth it on that level?  And, why the hell do I feel that if I'm not plowing forward towards some greater good, I'm wasting my time? 

Input anyone?